I work in a restaurant. I think I have mentioned this before. I think I have also mentioned that C lived across the street from this restaurant his entire adopted life until a few months ago. This ties into what I am trying to say.
I work for a wonderful man. He is fair and he is just, in his dealings with us workwise and on a personal level. I have talked to him a lot. He was raised in foster care and group homes, and refused to be adopted when the chance arose. I also work with a sweet girl that was adopted as a toddler, and is in search of one of her brothers. She has found the other one, and does get updates on him from his social worker. She can even go see him once a year when she takes vacation, and travels to that state. I also work with 2 women that can't have kids for medical reasons that they have not disclosed. These 2 women plan to adopt one day. I have tried to talk them out of it, to no avail.
They have watched C outside skateboarding. He would look at his house to make sure no one was watching so he could wave at me. They have watched him sneak to see me when he got off the bus before his adoptive parents got home. They have seen the tearful goodbyes, not knowing when we would be able to see each other again. They have talked to us. They have listened to us. They have asked questions.
They have watched my sweet almost 2 year old A, look out the window across the street and say, "Mama, where Bubba?" Because he isn't out there any more. He has moved. They have watched the tears come every time she asks. Not just tearing up, a full fledged, can't stop it, waterfall.
They have heard my 8 year old J2 express his hatred for these people that are keeping him away from his brother. They have heard it all.
So you would think.... Wouldn't watching that for 3 years, hearing about it for 3 years, stop you from wanting to be a part of that? Apparently not. When it comes to a woman that can't have a child, wanting one... They turn blind. I can only hope that they have learned enough to have fully open adoptions if and when they proceed.