I had a visit with my second born son this past Wednesday. It is the second time I have been able to keep him in my home. It's strange. He will be 16 in December, and I don't know him at all. I want to. Occasionally he brings up things about when he was younger, or about the adoption in general. What am I supposed to say? I so bad just want to tell him that I am so sorry that I couldn't fight harder. That they had me on these medicines that affected my ability to feel, to even know what I was doing. But I don't know if he is ready to hear the whole story yet. I have told my oldest some of it. Not the whole story, but the main parts.
Anyway, I took him to the restaurant that I work at to get something to eat. He ordered a chocolate chip waffle. Our waitress said, "You and C and this chocolate. hahaha" Then I started thinking, I feel so bad, because all these people know both of my sons, and they don't know each other. They aren't allowed to know each other. That is really the reason that C's mom stopped the contact this last time. I know I haven't went through that whole story of her yet, but just thought I'd let you all know how crazy she is. She sent me a text one morning telling me that I would no longer be able to have any contact with C. When I asked her why, she responded with "Because you gave him J1's phone number." How can you not want your son to know his brother? She knew that I was talking to J1 too. Even expressed how happy she was for me. Yet never once told me that she didn't want C to have anything to do with him.
My whole point to this post is that I can't wait for the day that I can have all of my children together in one place, and take a picture. I have pictures with each of my kids, but none with all of them. Sad when you think about the fact that I have been back in contact with them for so long.
Well, I have to get ready for work now. Just had to get this out first. Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday.