I mentioned in another post that I have a sweet son, J2. He is 8 years old now. And he is my little sweetheart. I also have had a daughter, A. She is 17 months old now, and spoiled rotten being my first little girl. I have to admit I have waited almost 17 years for her. I wanted a girl so bad, with all 3 boys, but am so glad I didn't get her until now. lol
J2 is a very bright young man. He is in 3rd grade this year and is performing on levels up to 6th grade. I have had a lot to do with that, as I home school. I am so scared to have them leave me. Although we did try public school a couple times, it just didn't work.
A is smart, too. And funny, and spoiled as I said. Her big brother is her hero.
I have spent a lot more time appreciating these two babies, and I think I owe that to adoption. I realized all the things I missed, and didn't let things get to me like I probably would have. Like when J2 was refusing to potty train. I was just glad that I finally had the chance to potty train my child. When they took their first steps, and started speaking, and acting silly, I got to be there for all of it. And I cherished it all. Good days and bad.
Now to how my past haunts me with these two.....
As I mentioned, we tried school with J2 a couple of times and it didn't work. The main reason being he is brilliant and was bored to death. They didn't challenge him enough. But also he has some emotional issues concerning his big brothers and the while adoption thing. Well I talked to his counselor at the school about how he may be having trouble because the adoptive mom of C will let us see him sometimes and then cut all contact without warning. I should have known that I would be judged on the spot. I already lost 2 kids to adoption and here I was with an out of control 7 year old.
J2 was also very sick. He had chronic ear infections and for 3 out of the 4 weeks he was in school he had a ruptured ear drum. That have him more problems. He had missed 10 days of school in the first month. I didn't want him to fall behind. I took him out to homeschool just like I had the year before.
He was tested when I enrolled him to make sure he was on grade level and he was. I sent his teacher an email thanking her for the work she had done with J2, and that I would be teaching him at home, due to his health, and my concern for his education... This was on a Tuesday. Friday DFCS knocked on my door. They had a report of educational neglect.
A 6 month long battle began. Another fight for Motherhood. A fight to be able to do what was best for my son. More nightmares, more stress, more worry. Would I win this one, or was I about to lose 2 more children to the injustice of my county?
J2 is a very bright young man. He is in 3rd grade this year and is performing on levels up to 6th grade. I have had a lot to do with that, as I home school. I am so scared to have them leave me. Although we did try public school a couple times, it just didn't work.
A is smart, too. And funny, and spoiled as I said. Her big brother is her hero.
I have spent a lot more time appreciating these two babies, and I think I owe that to adoption. I realized all the things I missed, and didn't let things get to me like I probably would have. Like when J2 was refusing to potty train. I was just glad that I finally had the chance to potty train my child. When they took their first steps, and started speaking, and acting silly, I got to be there for all of it. And I cherished it all. Good days and bad.
Now to how my past haunts me with these two.....
As I mentioned, we tried school with J2 a couple of times and it didn't work. The main reason being he is brilliant and was bored to death. They didn't challenge him enough. But also he has some emotional issues concerning his big brothers and the while adoption thing. Well I talked to his counselor at the school about how he may be having trouble because the adoptive mom of C will let us see him sometimes and then cut all contact without warning. I should have known that I would be judged on the spot. I already lost 2 kids to adoption and here I was with an out of control 7 year old.
J2 was also very sick. He had chronic ear infections and for 3 out of the 4 weeks he was in school he had a ruptured ear drum. That have him more problems. He had missed 10 days of school in the first month. I didn't want him to fall behind. I took him out to homeschool just like I had the year before.
He was tested when I enrolled him to make sure he was on grade level and he was. I sent his teacher an email thanking her for the work she had done with J2, and that I would be teaching him at home, due to his health, and my concern for his education... This was on a Tuesday. Friday DFCS knocked on my door. They had a report of educational neglect.
A 6 month long battle began. Another fight for Motherhood. A fight to be able to do what was best for my son. More nightmares, more stress, more worry. Would I win this one, or was I about to lose 2 more children to the injustice of my county?
(((Loving Mother))) I am so very sorry for the things you have gone through. I can't imagine how painful it is to have lost two children to adoption - losing one is terrible enough. And the effects it has on our subsequent precious 'babies' is just so awful as a mother to watch.
ReplyDeleteMy next 'eldest', my other daughter is also 8 years old and there have been a few hiccups with her starting school as well... but she is much more settled now. She is angry she is not allowed to see her sister and is angry she Amber is not allowed to be more part of our family.
My youngest, my son, is 4 almost 5. He is my very centred and peaceful baby - relaxed, easy going and so loving.
I am again so very sorry you had to fight yet again for your son - where is the support?! How are things now?
Much love,
Myst xxx
Myst, thank you for reading. I meant to come back the next day and put the post about the fight. I will do that now. I realize that I left this in a bad place. I will say that I had no support besides friends that I could talk to. But everything is fine, now that I know how to fight.
ReplyDeleteVikki